Baby recipe ideas.

It's getting better, the daily grind. At the moment, I'm working on shifting my focus. That sounds awfully psycho-babble, but it's something I decided myself. For the longest time, Daughter was an obstacle to my doing what was necessary i.e. moving house, washing the nappies, making dinner etc. What I'm trying to do now is tell myself that she is no longer an obstacle, that she is the task. It's a very utilitarian way of looking at it, but that's just how my brain works. I like to concentrate on very simple black and white goals rather than the somewhat ambiguous 'adjust my expectations' - the advice I'm usually given.

I feel that the whole thing would be slightly more 'fair' were Daughter to work on her sleeping as I'm working on cheering up. The two things are very much linked.

In any case, I just thought I'd update on where I was personally before I shared my awesome discoveries:

1. Finely chopped frozen vegetables.

Specifically, Aunt Bessie's finely chopped frozen vegetables (most supermarkets do a version but this brand is chopped the smallest and has the biggest selection of veg included). Perfect, as the bag declares, for bolognese and soups. What they're actually super-amazing for though, is feeding babies. I would like to state at this point that I am in no way affiliated with the producers - I just couldn't survive without this handy little bag in my freezer.

I'm not a fan of liquidised baby food as I don't think the lack of texture does them any favours. Whilst it's practical to begin with, I've known babes who grow up to favour bland mush into adulthood. Seriously. I knew one guy who wouldn't eat any veg unless they'd been boiled into a grey sludge.

So yeah, not only are there 5 good staple vegetables in the mixture, but they're cut into tiny pieces - perfect for baby mouths. Cooking time is practically negligible too since they're so tiny. Hooray!

2. Soup pasta

I noticed that in the baby food aisle at the supermarket, you could get minuscule pasta for massive amounts of money. In the pasta aisle, you can get minuscule pasta for a price to match. Intended for use in minestrone soup, this stuff has fast become a staple of Daughter's diet. Again, because of the size, cooking time is nearly nothing.

Recipes

Here are a few of our favourite things to make from the above. Most of these assume that you have a quantity of stewed down meat ready - I like to cook down chicken, beef, lamb and pork until they disintegrate into stringy bits - very tender, easy to eat without teeth and unprocessed. All of these recipes work as vegetarian too.

Baby Minestrone:

Boil a handful of tiny pasta with the same quantity of frozen veg. When these are cooked through add some tomato puree to the cooking water (thus retaining all vitamins from the veg), add herbs and seasoning to taste and serve. This freezes well.

Baby lasagna:

As above, but drain the mixture before adding the tomato puree. Add pre-stewed meat of your choice to make the base. Top with white sauce (you can make this with formula milk, vegetable margarine and corn flour if you're worried about dairy and gluten. I haven't checked to see if you can get gluten free soup pasta because it isn't something that worries me, however I can't see why you wouldn't) and bake in a moderate oven.

NB: Since a lot of these dishes are bakes, I tend to do a load at once and freeze in portions so I'm only cooking once every 2 weeks or so. It's a life-saver.

Fish pie:

Mix up a white sauce and add the fish of your choice. I use pollack because it's cheap and - at last check - sustainable. I know there's a big fuss about tuna and the mercury levels in it but I have been known to use it because that was the only fish in the house. Add a handful of the frozen veg and either mix in some of the tiny pasta or spoon some mashed potato over the top of the filling in an oven proof dish. Bake until golden on top.

Stew:

Easiest of all - mix some pre-stewed meat with a handful of the frozen veg, add a little stock and some cooked pearl barley. Enjoy.

Vegetable pasta dinner:

Boil pasta and veg together, drain and add half a teaspoon of pesto and tomato puree. This doesn't freeze well.

Vegetable cous cous:

Add a handful of frozen veg to some cous cous - sometimes I use the plain variety and add my own spices whilst others I use the pre-mixed sachets. Make up the cous cous as usual - the heat of the water will also cook the vegetables.  This doesn't freeze well, but if you add some chorizo, it makes a good lunch for mum/dad too.

Catching up

Where should I start?

A visit to the inlaws has put me behind in my posting, and as sod's law is universal, loads of interesting things happened during the interim.

Daughter slept through last night. But that long-awaited peace came at a heavy price. My little girl is now old enough to sleep in her own room! Having her in with us meant that every time we moved on our creaky old bed, Daughter was woken in her cot. And co-sleeping didn't work, because if I'm next to her, all she wants is milk.

In fact, it was on our way home when we stopped off overnight that I made the decision to move the cot out from beside our bed. Only twin rooms were available and there were no spare cots. This meant a night of hell for me - I only got three hours of sleep as I was milked for all I was worth! Every little noise from Husband across the room woke her too so as soon as we got back, I bought a baby monitor and some more bottles. Now, we're about to go into night three sans boob, and night two of own bedroom.

The Sleep Challenge thing I've been harking on about has worked a treat. I'm now trying to be consistent with how naptimes happen. Though I'm not setting specific nap times, I am reading a story or singing a song before sleep and so far it seems to be working.

Anyway, the baby monitor says that there is stirring in the other room. I will leave you until next time.

Joy

The last few days with Daughter have been a real joy. My siblings were here and as a result, my little girl has enjoyed being the centre of attention. We've had so, so much fun.

Daughter has been experimenting with happy noises - much to our delight - and getting much better at going to bed. I've found that the less I think about parenting and the more time I spend pulling silly faces, the easier life is.

So that's my goal - forget all about milestones, all about books, sleeping regularly, getting 'enough' sleep etc. As my wise mother told me, if Daughter is tired she'll sleep, regardless of where she is.

It is really hard to stop thinking about what she should be doing by which age when you're bombarded with messages telling you which formula your child should have at which age, which weaning foods are suitable etc. But today, Daughter stole toasted tea cake from my plate in a cafe and munched it without batting an eyelid. She picked up the food, put it in her mouth, chewed and swallowed. We promptly bought her some rusks after that, despite their 7+ month age-tag.

Even if I don't get enough sleep at night, I'm just going to zonk out during the day, even if it means I won't get everything done.

I know I swore I'd rip up the books before, but the 'information' about how you should raise your child is so structured into every aspect of our society that it's impossible to block out completely. I'll do my best to take it all with a pinch of salt from now on, now that I've seen how fun things are when you don't worry.

New Born

We were out at the supermarket today and saw a couple with a crying new-born. The poor little thing was beside herself and it took me back.

Though Daughter does still 'go off on one' every so often, consciousness is no longer marked by an ear-splitting howl. It's amazing how, in less than five months, my child has changed so completely. People told me not to wish my time with her away, but I'm glad she's now so interested in her surroundings and is far more responsive.

I don't want to speak too soon after having put Daughter to bed, but things do seem to have become a bit easier. Slowly, by degrees, we are making some headway with sleeping. After doing the Johnson's Baby Sleep Challenge - which, I have to confess, has made me buy their night time bath - bedtime has become far, far less taxing. I still have to get up to (breast)feed twice during the night, but the timing of the last bottle of the day means that I can have a glass of wine, or a visit from Mr. Daniels with some ginger ale, every once in a while. And sometimes, after a day of screaming, a little tipple takes the edge off one's frayed nerves.

Bargain!

So I bought a Maclaren Triumph pushchair from ebay the other day. For £25, it's proved to be the bargain of the decade!

I've been using a sling up until now, but Daughter is getting too heavy for long walks, especially if you need to have the nappy bag with you. Neat as mine it, it's still the size of what I'd call a weekend-away bag so lugging that around as well as the increasingly heavy baby is hard work.

We tested out the pram by having a walk around our local country park and Daughter loved it. Lots to look at, lots of fresh air and finally, after being on her back in our other pram, the chance to sit up whilst out and about. Nosy little girl loved every second of it.

I never imagined her sitting up. When we first took her home from the hospital, I never once imagined that the tiny little lady in my arms could be big enough to be struggling against her harness to sit forward.Just goes to show.

I still can't picture a complete night's sleep. The 29th of April was the last one I had, and as far as I can tell, will be the last one I ever have. Right now though, if I can't have quantity, I'm going for quality. Some yoga, some nice sleepy making tea and clean, line dried sheets should make for a deep, if short, snooze.

Speaking of which, I'm not wasting another minute of her being in bed. Night y'all!

Cabbage 2

I doubted, but once again, folk lore has served me well!

Behold! The boobs which have not fed and yet which do not feel like gala melons!

Hooray!

Yes, that's right. I managed to go the whole day without doing a booby feed and as a result I feel awesome. Well...

I would feel awesome, were it not for the fact that I'm also teaching Daughter to sleep in her own bed at nap time. I understand why it makes sense to do it now, but I'm also worried about missing out on her precious, tiny, cuddly phase where she can sprawl across me, chest to chest.

I know I'll probably be glad that I did this in a few years time when I can say to her, "It's bedtime, love, off you go," and not have a battle on my hands, but right now I feel a bit like I'm missing out. C'est la vie, eh? Can't have everything.

Amber

I was sceptical, but the amber necklace I bought from Dino-Daisy seems to be working. Daughter hasn't been nearly as croddly since she's been wearing it and those infectious little chuckles are becoming increasingly numerous as a result.

With teething 'on hold', as it were, for the moment, I'm trying to build on the success we had with the Johnson's Sleep Challenge by gently encouraging Daughter to go to sleep on her own. So now, she has a bath, we do the baby massage - which used to be the high point of the evening but is now a bone of contention as it means bath-time is finished - and then I take her to the bedroom for a bottle. I make sure she's awake when I put her down in the cot and keep a hand on her chest, breathing heavily so she can hear me as I do, until she stops grumping, then I say goodnight and sit down to read my book. If she grumps again, I go back and keep my hand on her chest until the grumping stops again but I try to avoid eye contact as I do so and I don't say anything so that she knows it isn't awake time any more.

I don't know if the heavy breathing helps, but I know that if I can't sleep, I tune into Husband's breathing and by concentrating on following that, I soon drop off. It seems to be the same for Daughter but I don't have any scientific or anecdotal proof to back my weird little theory up.

I'm going to have to take her to the health visitor in the next few weeks and I'm a bit nervous. Last time we went for a weigh in, Daughter had dropped a percentile curve and in the 6 weeks between visits, had only gained 600g. Since then, I've started giving her bottles, baby rice and mush, so I really don't know how her weight is going to be when I go back. She's only 18 weeks too, so I'm a little nervous about admitting that I've started with big foods already. Also, the health visitor is the one who encouraged me to keep feeding through my mastitis and was so pleased that I'd managed to keep it up for so long. I know it's her job to advocate breast-feeding, but she really seemed to care that Daughter got the best. And having worked in health-care, I know how hard it is to keep up the enthusiasm around preaching the right, but difficult option - I don't want to upset anyone.

I know I've done the best for Daughter and me by stopping - a rough night of relentless feeding yesterday proved it - but I still don't want other people who've been really supportive to feel that I've let them down. Especially when they clearly care...

Aside from anything else, it's pride that's stopping me from going. I like to learn things on my own - I didn't get on well at school because everything was spoon-fed to me and I found that boring - which, I guess, is another reason I don't like the childcare books. I'm learning though, to take help when it's available. My pride doesn't like it, but every other aspect of my life does!

Down

Anyone have any hints for putting a baby down in their cot?

Daughter will fall asleep in my arms within seconds, but actually laying her in her bed is a demanding task, not for the faint-hearted.Even the slightest degree of height difference is noted by her seemingly-sleepy brain and a few inches from the mattress, her arms splay out to the sides, jolting her awake with a cry.

I have been trying to put her down drowsy, but a lot of the time this results in her either snapping awake and wanting to play, or her snapping awake in fury - how dare I put her down? It's not an asking cry - it's an angry, shouting at naughty mummy sort of cry. It makes me laugh, but it's not really helpful in terms of getting her to sleep so I can get on with things.

So yes, any helpful suggestions would be greatly appreciated. :)

Day 7

And thus the 'Johnson's sleep challenge' is complete.

Last night was absolutely magic. No tears at bath time, no tears during the baby massage. Daughter fell asleep in my arms, went down for an  hour, then woke up. She calmed easily, then I put her down drowsy and left her to go off. I'll definitely be continuing this routine, challenge or no, as it really seems to work.

Sceptical as I was at first, I can definitely see why this series of actions has the desired effect. Everything about getting baby ready for bed is centred around love and intimacy, and as the night time is the longest that baby is away from you, I see it almost as a fuelling-up on attention and company until the following morning. Sure, the nice warm bath is great, as is the massage, but I think that ultimately, all Daughter wants before she goes off to sleep is to feel safe, secure and loved. I mean, don't we all? I certainly know that if I were so small and vulnerable that I'd want all the snuggles I could get.

I think people forget, as I've said before, that when they're dealing with babies they're actually dealing with tiny people. I have frequent arguments with folk about the 'cry it out' technique - also known as the Ferber Method. In my eyes, it's just barbaric. I explain my dislike of it by telling people to imagine that they're abroad with no money, no food, no passport and no tickets home. 'Crying it out' to me, is like being left unable to explain your predicament to anyone, yet instead of trying to help you, the locals just ignore you, and leave you to your own troubles.

It is such a comfort to have  found an alternative that so far, appears to work.

Day 5...

... failed to happen.

I went to see Granddad to take him out for lunch but all the pubs we came to were closed and then, when we were just over an hour from home, Daughter decided she wasn't playing any more.

It took us nearly two hours to get back, stopping every few miles to cuddle and comfort little girl. From dropping Granddad off, we then had to make the forty minute journey home. It took over an hour again.

By the time we got in,  Husband was home so with frayed nerves, I handed Daughter over, took a few deep breaths and vowed to try again today...

Day 4

Sceptical but silent, tonight's bath was rather more of a success than usual. The massage caused the standard howls, but new to this evening's line up was a spate of tears when Daughter was presented with her bottle.

I don't care though. Today, I got my first laugh and as a result, it has been the best day of my life so far. I've heard Daughter squeal with delight before, but this was a dopey 'huh huh huh' sort of a sound, made in the back of her throat. She has a lower voice than most babies I've heard. I'm hoping that this will lead to a lovely, silky tone when she's older but only time will tell.(I'm still giddy as I'm typing this - if it doesn't come across in my writing, you have to imagine the above gush blurted in an Alyson Hannigan-American Pie sort of way)

The glorious chuckle came as I was spinning her in circles, saying, 'weeee,' as we went. Rest assured that tomorrow, there'll be a whole lot of that going on.